Leprechaun Lexicon

But she knows where to be tonight:



Holding court with this guy:

This guy, Michael Ovitz:



He hired these two chicks away from Nickelodeon to reinvent The Disney Channel:



He hired this private eye, Anthony Pellicano, to harass a New York Times reporter who was giving him negative ink:



The New York Times reporter, Anita Busch, then woke up one morning to find her windshield had been shattered, a dead fish had been placed on it, and a note had been left.

"Stop!"



We ♥ Anita Busch ever since meeting her at this place where we began a short-lived courtship to hire her:



Once upon a time Anita also worked at the Los Angeles Times.

This morning Page One of the Times reports that Michael Ovitz's private dick Pellicano was convicted of 76 criminal charges, including rackateering, wire fraud, computer fraud and wiretapping.

As a result, Ovitz's dick could spend ten years in prison.

Pellicano: the man Ovitz hired to torment Busch.



Ovitz: the man Michael Eisner hired to be president of Disney.



The Ultimate Nick Chicks: The women Ovitz hired for The Disney Channel.



Eisner: The man who changed his mind and fired Ovitz after a year, paying him $100 million to go away.



The Nick Chicks: The ladies who changed the name of The Disney Channel, changed its target audience, removed its focus on education, and rendered Mickey a shadow of his former self:



Now you know half the Hollywood family tree of the Most Powerful Woman In Hollywood, Anne Sweeney.

To understand the other half of her family tree, you need to understand this man, Sumner Redstone:



He's the CEO of this place:



Which makes him the patriarch of this place:



Everyone in town knows what a lovely man Sumner is, but not everyone in town knows he gave rise to the Nick Chicks.

Soon they will.

Soon they will.

Because any way you look at it, Nickelodeon is an idea that stinks.

"Us versus them"

Marion Evans for:



Nathan Lammers for:



Shana Mandel for:



Jacob Matsumiya for:



Chase Simonds for:



All this excellence.

What's a leprechaun to do?

Find out.

Friday night.

Here:

This was their strategy all along.

Don't be fooled.

"Us versus Them"

Kids versus parents.

Here's how:

The nag factor.

Lure children to Nickelodeon with farts and boogers.

Kids love fart and booger jokes.

During commercial breaks allow advertisers free rein to seduce the children.

Thusly seduced, your child now becomes a walking acquisition list.

Gimme Fruit Loops.

Gimme pizza.

Gimme candy.

With the frenzy inspired by their Big Idea, pursued with all the fire that burns within them, Nickelodeon preys upon our youngest of souls, turning them into whining little beggars.

Gimme, Gimme, Gimme.

Gimme a break.

Now they've done the same thing at Disney.

Gone: A company that once upon a time respected moms and dads as the decision makers in matters of their children.

Arrived: A company that inflames a generation of fast-talking children with cell phones to nag, nag, nag their parents for Miley's latest whatever it is.

Nag. Nag. Nag.

The Ultimate Nick Chicks.

If you're a mom or dad of young children, this we believe with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our minds, and with all our strength:

These two chicks are not your friends.

Geraldine Laybourne and Anne Sweeney:

In addition to being the moral conscience of the cable television industry via her position at TV Week, Marianne Paskowski also blogs about life on Cape Cod.

Recently she invited us to join in.

The topic was dogs.

You just gotta' love 'em.

A dog is the namesake of Chapman University's first entry into the American Advertising Federation's NSAC competition.

The year was 2004.

The place was Pepperdine.

Malibu.

The client was Visit Florida.

Chapman's first entry:

The Kirby Campaign.

Named for a dog.

The underdog.

Live from Cape Cod where the Kennedy's roam...meet Kirby, deep in the thread of that Pesky Paskowski:



Kirby: the quintessential Disney dog.

The more you know, the more you know.

Dear Bob,

Apparently Anne's revving up her PR machine for a promotion.

That's up to you, of course.

You're in charge.

Question is...

Who informs your decision?

This guy?

"I've always been bored with just making money. I've wanted to do things; I wanted to build things, to get something going. What money meant to me was that I was able to get money to do that for me."

—Walt Disney

Or this guy?

"We have no obligation to make history. We have no obligation to make art. We have no obligation to make a statement. To make money is our only objective."

--Michael Eisner

It's mutually exclusive.

One or the other.

Wrong answer:



Right answer:



Wrong Answer:



Right Answer:



Because it all started with the mouse:



And thus it should always be:



Who's your daddy, Bob?

Michael Eisner or Walt Disney?

It's gotta be one or the other.

Smart money...and we do mean to imply Wall St...is on the man with the mouse.

It's a no-brainer.

The Nick Clique has to go.

They turned Mickey into a shadow of his former self.



For one reason and one reason only:



And somebody's pretty upset about it:

Would he look away from a global children's television network whose Big Idea resonates thusly:



Or would he roll up his shirt sleeves and fix it:



Confidential note to Hillary Clinton:

The outspoken advocate for mediocrity among women is one of your closest advisers on women's issues.

Mediocrity as a campaign platform.

Why?

1. You love Disney.

2. You love justice.

3. You love dogs.

4. Families rock: You love children.

5. You agree with the following statement: Education is sexy.

6. You respect the wisdom of others.

7. You believe in miracles.

8. You love confronting corporate assholes who trample over the souls of the little ones.

9. You love to laugh out loud 'til it hurts.

10. You love God with all of your heart, all of your soul, all of your mind, and all of your strength.

If you answered yes to any of those questions, then you are Leprechaun Lexicon's sweet spot.

Welcome aboard.

We're grateful you're here.

Love,
Leprechaun Lexicon

After you've studied their track record you will agree with Leprechaun Lexicon.

They've done more than any two women in history to:

1.) Turn children against their mothers.

2.) Dumb down America's children.

3.) Offer children a diet of farts and boogers.

4.) Deliver children to advertisers.

5.) Denigrate education.

They are Geraldine Laybourne:



And her prodigy Anne Sweeney:



Ironically, they have masters degrees in education from Ivy League schools.

Don't be fooled.

Shamelessly they built this place:



Whose passionately-espoused manifesto is eerily the same as this place:



Happy Mother's Day.

To the two mothers who have done more to denigrate and mock motherhood than any two mothers in the history of motherhood.

Geraldine Laybourne and Anne Sweeney.

The Ultimate Nick Chicks:

It's the kind of picture guaranteed to broaden a leprechaun's smile.

Bobby Kennedy.

On his way to Newport:



(Photos: VanityFair.com)

During my granddaughter’s lifetime, I hope that mediocre women will be the heads of companies.

---Geraldine Laybourne*

The voice of mediocrity, spread wide:



*Source: Click, scroll down to the last line: Womenof.com

This is Dolly.

She is the store manager of Francis-Orr Stationary in Corona del Mar, where we acquire the fine ecru paper on which we write the evaluations of our students' Entertainment Marketing plans and their blogs.

Dolly.

A good omen inside a fine place offering the best in stationary:

This animated figure is synergistic with The Walt Disney Company:



This animated figure is not:



For spreading Angelica globally, Mrs. Sweeney's got some 'splainin' to do.



Because Mr. Disney isn't happy...



...with what she and her Nick Clique did to his mouse, turning him into a shadow of his former self:



For one reason and one reason only:

Named after the legend:

Dear Miley,

God loves you more than you can imagine.

He never left you for even one moment throughout your Vanity Fair ordeal.

He will never leave you.

He's not wired that way.

He is, however, using you.

He has big plans for you, Miley.

Here's one now.

As you can see, you're in the middle of it:



He's using you to introduce the world to your handlers.

"The Nick Clique."

They built and defined this place:



Which is scary, because Nickelodeon's Big Idea is hauntingly similar to this idea:



Nickeldeon says this big idea of theirs is the flame that burns in their hearts.

The lighter of this flame is the ultimate Nick Chick:



Nice pose, huh?

These days she is one of the alpha females advising this woman's Presidential campaign on women's issues.



Why, you might ask?

Because the Nick Chicks are perceived as experts on female role models.

Exhibit A:



Exhibit B:



Dearest Miley, most innocent child.

This is not about you.

It was never meant to be about you.

It was about the mouse.

It's always supposed to be about the mouse.

Because it all started with a mouse.



That's what this is all about.

Mickey has become but a shadow of his former self.

In spite of what the Nick Clique and their Nick Chicks want us to believe, Disney's target audience is the head of the household, not the fast-talking twelve year-old girl with a cell phone.

It's not about you, Miley.



It's about your handlers and how they want the world to think about Mickey Mouse:



Because they have something other than your...and Mickey's...best interests in mind:



Love,
Leprechaun Lexicon

(Photos by Forbes, Vanity Fair, and Portfolio magazines.)

Responding to a reader's comment, this post has been revised to be more sophomoric, more accurate, and more direct. Thank you for reading Leprechaun Lexicon.



Dear Jeff Bewkes:

We have three things in common.

1.) We both have MBA's, you from Stanford, we from Harvard.
2) We both worked at HBO.
3.) At one time we both wanted to solve your problem with AIM, AOL's instant messaging service.

Then you screwed over our kids.

And UCLA's.

And all the others.

We're angry, Jeff.

This is getting worse because nobody is responding to us.

To make matters even more worse...it gets worser and worser...the parents of one of our first potential four-peaters are telling her not to do NSAC anymore. It's a sham. The judges don't show up. Two years in a row. This happened last year with Coke, too.

But Coke made it up to us, Jeff.

Immediately.

With the snap of a finger.

Coke won us over.

Captured our hearts.

Ended on a bright note.

We've been drinking Coke all year.

We don't have that kind of happiness inside anymore when it comes to AOL.

AOL has grown into a pimple...festering, irritating and ugly.

Time for Time Warner to pop its zit, Jeff.

Yesterday advertising professor Ray Roschmann (left), public relations professor Kevin Mardesich, advertising professor Marla Cooper (right), and ourself joined Janell Shearer, chair of the Media Arts division of Dodge College, in our office to judge the PRA (Public Relations and Advertising) nominees and winners in this year's Cecil Awards.

Best Commercial.

Best PR campaign.

Best Advertising campaign.

Best Film Marketing Plan

Kudos to Ray Roschmann, faculty producer of the Cecil's.

A marketer through and through.



Thanks to Mr. DeMille, without whom his close-up would not be possible:

Even the bees are buzzing about it.

Leprechaun Lexicon casts its votes for this man.

Gary Marsh.

CEO.

The Disney Channel.

Worldwide.

It's a no-brainer.



(Photo of PP the Bee: Sunday May 4, in the quintessential garden of the City of Angels. Photo of Gary Marsh from Portfolio Magazine. As you can see, Walt's got his back.)

Yesterday we told our class of Internet Communications students that the semester would end where it began.

With Marianne Paskowski.



We announced the topic of the second half of our final exam.

"Miley Cyrus: A Multi-sided Conversation About Child Exploitation At The Walt Disney Company."

The conversation to be discussed is the one now being conducted by Marianne Paskowski on her blog at TV Week.

At issue is a provocative picture of Disney Channel's tween sensation Miley Cyrus in Vanity Fair, from Conde Nast.



Also out from Conde Nast right now, Miley Cyrus is photographed with Disney's Anne Sweeney, the Most Powerful Woman in Hollywood.

We held up both magazines in class, discussing their audiences.



According to the copy in Portfolio, the upscale business publication, it looks like she's gunning for CEO.

Sweeney, that is.



Hmmm.

Interesting.

What a coincidence in timing.

They're both Conde Nast publications: Portfolio and Vanity Fair.

Could it be?

A fair exchange?

A deal for Miley to do Liebowitz and Vanity Fair in exchange for that puff piece on Sweeney in Portfolio.

Was that it?

Sweeney gets mentioned for CEO.

Her campaign begins.



Wrote The New York Times:

Disney spokeswoman, Patti McTeague, faulted Vanity Fair for the photo. “Unfortunately, as the article suggests, a situation was created to deliberately manipulate a 15-year-old in order to sell magazines,” she said.

Which is very different from deliberately manipulating a 15-year-old in order to promote the career of Patti's boss through the sale of magazines from the very same company.

But we digress.

Accusations of child exploitation are being levied against Disney from Marianne Paskowski and Geraldo Rivera.

Marianne Paskowski has been conducting an online conversation about Disney since she blogged about it last week.

Based on the textbook Naked Conversations and what you have learned about two way communications over the course of the semester, and after having read the entire thread about the Miley Cyrus photos on Marianne's blog, what would you advise Patti McTeague, head of public relations for Disney Channel, to do about that Pesky Paskowski?

Let's find out...



In the end.

It ends where it began.

With Marianne Paskowski.